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Nightmare 1I've been told, that writing down thoughts helps out tremendously, that it helps to take the weights off your shoulders. I agree with that, but even though I agree with it, its a scary feeling to have to revisit your deepest thoughts, fears, as well as nightmares. So I'm going to share a re-occuring nightmare that I have.
When this dream occurs, I'm sitting in a dark room, slowly forming into a familiar place, my bedroom in my parents house. I'm lying in my bed, the stand fan humming away, nothing making a sound. There is a jingle of a bell, my cockateal, David, ruffles his feathers. The bell jiggles away and David hisses, like he does when he's angry. I stare at his cage in the darkness, not seeing anything but the inky blackness of the dark room. Silence falls, David quiets down, bell stops jingling. I move my head again so that I'm staring up towards the ceiling and all I hear a
Welcome HomeGrowing up, you were in my life,
Leading me, guiding me, shaping me,
Showing me the path that was right,
Filling my heart with the love that you share,
As I grew, you watched over me,
I drifted away, but you remained the same,
I didn't want any part of you,
Afraid, self-conscience, unwilling,
Years passed and I grew accustomed to the void,
Left in my heart was a growing emptyness,
Filling with things that were terrible,
Knowing that it was wrong,
I drove to your home, nervousness weighing heavy,
I almost turned the car around and left,
Afraid to face what I left behind,
Worried what I might encounter,
The music started and I somehow knew the words,
A warmth filled my heart,
A peace came over me,
The words aimed at me,
As I sat there silently, I asked you to forgive me,
I asked you to come back,
I asked you to love me again,
I said that I have missed you,
Tears fell down my cheeks,
A smile crossed my face,
Soothing words in my heart,
"Welcome home, I've missed you."
Rising SunToday started off as any other day,
Wake up in the morning and pray,
Eat breakfast and get ready for the norm,
Little did I know of the impending storm.
I make my way to the subway,
Pushing past people, to get on my way,
The usual commotion on the train,
The hum of people talking, sounding like endless rain.
Arriving at my office, I sip my strawberry shake,
The busy of the day beginning, then the earth started to quake.
The first thought to go through my mind was "I'm going to die,"
But I knew that I couldn't give up, I had to try.
Pictures fell from where they hung on the wall,
File cabinets rocking back and forth, looking like they'd fall,
Screams from workers filled my ears,
My eyes began to swell with tears.
Three minutes went by, that felt like a lifetime,
The shaking subsided, metal framework starting to whine,
Groaning with the shifted weight on foundation,
I wasn't sure what had become of our nation.
Papers and debris littered the floor,
I had trouble just opening my door,
A Wolf At the Door Chapter OneShe sat in her car, staring out the windshield. Empty; that was all she felt, a deep emptiness that nothing could replace. A tear ran down her cheek as she recalled the words that the detective told her. It's been a month and there's been no tips to help find your son. We have to assume the worst. Her hands gripped the steering wheel, making her knuckles numb.
The moonlight shone down, illuminating the cliff that was in front of her. Darkness lapped at the edge of the cliff, beckoning her, welcoming her into its arms. Her heart ached. It ached for the son that was missing, the son that was her life. In her mind there was nothing left to live for.
Releasing her grip from the steering wheel, she opened the door and stepped out. The warm night breeze stirred, making her skirt gently sway back and forth. The smell of the salt air was sour, yet sweet t
Winter is a time of sleep,
Animals gathering their food in a heap,
Snow on the ground and wind blowing softly,
The long road ahead begins very quietly,
Everything outside is silent,
Only the sound of the owls hoot quiet,
Animals hibernate in their dens,
Resting up to prepare for what Spring will send,
The snow thaws and new life begins to emerge,
The trees and the plant life begin to surge,
The cries of hatchlings in the trees,
The sounds of Spring are soon set free,
Flowers bloom and new leaves begin to form,
Around the new fragrances bees begin to swarm,
Gliding across from flower to flower,
Summer is in the distance creeping up slower,
The sun's heat blares across the sky,
The parched lands sizzle and cry,
Rain is what's needed to quiet these aches,
To close up these cracks and heal the breaks,
Rain falls like a monsoon,
Summer will part here soon,
Cooler weather, taking its place,
We start to see the beginnings of Fall's face,
Leaves change from green to orange t
Heart SongI know your heart is full of sadness,
You think 'how can she put me through this madness,'
Words cannot express what I feel
Only time can start to heal.
Everyday I think back to the 'why,'
And it hurts my heart and makes me cry,
How could I do such a terrible thing,
To the one man who made my heart sing.
Lapse in judgment is no excuse for the things I did,
Of all the hurt I caused by what I hid,
I hope that you can forgive me in time,
For this deed, this terrible crime.
I love you with all my heart,
Nothing will ever tear us apart,
You are my life, my soul, my everything,
Now its my turn to try to make your heart sing.
I'm With You Chapter 1I sat on the side of the road, watching as the taillights faded into the dark. A feeling of confusion swept over me as I sat there wondering why I was left here.
Its okay, I thought to myself, Theyll be back for me.
One hour went by. Then two. Then three. I began to wonder if they were going to come back at all. I began to pace around, slowly starting to panic. What if they werent coming. What if they left me here to fend for myself.
I sighed and stopped pacing. Looking up both ways of the road I decided to head in the directions that I saw them leave in. The gravel on the side of the road hurt my feet as I walked. Weeds brushed my ankles, making them itch. The wind slowly began to pick up, causing me to shiver.
A bridge came into view and I stopped short of it. I felt so alo
Unrequited LoveA man torn by his immortal fate,
Would he ever find his love, his life, his mate,
Going through each day, longing for someone,
Longing for this binding spell to be undone,
A woman sitting on a swing,
From her back spring angels wings,
The wind blows through her hair,
Her skin so pale and so fair,
He sees her through the trees,
Breathless he falls to his knees,
Such breathtaking features,
He didnt know of any such creatures,
She looks up and stares at the wood,
Feeling eyes watching as hard as they could,
Whos there, she asks softly,
But no response, just crickets chirping quietly,
He heard her voice call out,
He wondered what it was about,
Should he go to her and reveal his true nature,
But would she be repulsed at his features,
She jumps off her swing and begins to walk,
Hoping the person would come out and talk,
She gets closer to where hes at,
Walking stealthy like a cat,
He stands still, unable to stir,
Wondering what hed say to her,
He peaks his
Mental Disorder Discrimination"You said you've got depression?
No you don't, you attention seeker.
You're just an average teenager with the perfect life
Desperately looking for sympathy."
Stop crying, you coward.
You're just a childish "scaredy-cat".
Blaming your problems on a mental disorder
That doesn't even exist."
"So you're schizophrenic?
Grow the hell up, and stop acting like a child
You're too old for imaginary friends
You callow, juvenile, little twit."
But if we're attention seekers,
Why do we try so hard to hide our feelings from the world?
Why do we isolate ourselves in our rooms,
Desperately hiding the cuts on our wrists
Trying our best to live a normal life?
And if we're simply "scaredy-cats",
Why is our fear so vividly intense?
Unlike simple fear, our anxiety will stick with us forever
A severe long-lasting feeling of powerful panic.
A feeling from which we'll never be free.
Suddenly we're childish for having a mental disorder?
Schizophrenia is not something we can control.
PainParalized by the suffering
A shiver down my spine
Images of my past haunt me
No one can save me from this hell
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
YouIf you’re a girl, you’re a girl.
If you’re a boy, you’re a boy.
If you’re white, you’re white.
If you’re black, you’re black.
If you’re gay, you’re gay.
If you’re bi, you’re bi.
If you’re straight, you’re straight.
If you’re religious, you’re religious.
If you’re an atheist, you’re an atheist.
If you’re mentally disabled, you’re still human.
If you’re physically disabled, you’re still human.
For everything you are:
So who are they to judge you for who you are?
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
you talk like a travestyoh, mercury boy, you can't
write your way out of this
body or out of this mind;
you can pray like it's high-fashion,
insist you're only burning yourself out
(but tell me - do you feel like a god yet?)
if only for murky mirrors &
silver cicadas caught
in your ribcage, you've
got a knack for decaying
Happy BirthdayThinking about things, you come to mind,
I think of who you were and what you've done,
You were a strong man, who loved his family,
You were a provider for those you cherished,
You were a soldier, you defended my rights,
You made your family proud those years,
You still make me proud,
I may have only met you when I was nine,
But it felt like I had known you a lifetime,
You held me in your arms when I would stumble,
You would tell me how much you loved me,
Looking into your eyes all I had was such comfort,
Memories are all we have now,
Memories that make us laugh,
Memories that make us cry,
Memories that make our hearts fill with love,
Memories that make us proud,
I can say I miss the calls I would get,
We shared our birthday together,
I looked forward to that call with anxious waiting,
But now, after 14 years, I still sometimes wait for that call,
It never comes, but no matter, I still sit and wait,
I love you Papa, with all my heart,
The loss of you is still as fresh as the day you le
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More