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Nightmare 1I've been told, that writing down thoughts helps out tremendously, that it helps to take the weights off your shoulders. I agree with that, but even though I agree with it, its a scary feeling to have to revisit your deepest thoughts, fears, as well as nightmares. So I'm going to share a re-occuring nightmare that I have.
When this dream occurs, I'm sitting in a dark room, slowly forming into a familiar place, my bedroom in my parents house. I'm lying in my bed, the stand fan humming away, nothing making a sound. There is a jingle of a bell, my cockateal, David, ruffles his feathers. The bell jiggles away and David hisses, like he does when he's angry. I stare at his cage in the darkness, not seeing anything but the inky blackness of the dark room. Silence falls, David quiets down, bell stops jingling. I move my head again so that I'm staring up towards the ceiling and all I hear a
Welcome HomeGrowing up, you were in my life,
Leading me, guiding me, shaping me,
Showing me the path that was right,
Filling my heart with the love that you share,
As I grew, you watched over me,
I drifted away, but you remained the same,
I didn't want any part of you,
Afraid, self-conscience, unwilling,
Years passed and I grew accustomed to the void,
Left in my heart was a growing emptyness,
Filling with things that were terrible,
Knowing that it was wrong,
I drove to your home, nervousness weighing heavy,
I almost turned the car around and left,
Afraid to face what I left behind,
Worried what I might encounter,
The music started and I somehow knew the words,
A warmth filled my heart,
A peace came over me,
The words aimed at me,
As I sat there silently, I asked you to forgive me,
I asked you to come back,
I asked you to love me again,
I said that I have missed you,
Tears fell down my cheeks,
A smile crossed my face,
Soothing words in my heart,
"Welcome home, I've missed you."
Rising SunToday started off as any other day,
Wake up in the morning and pray,
Eat breakfast and get ready for the norm,
Little did I know of the impending storm.
I make my way to the subway,
Pushing past people, to get on my way,
The usual commotion on the train,
The hum of people talking, sounding like endless rain.
Arriving at my office, I sip my strawberry shake,
The busy of the day beginning, then the earth started to quake.
The first thought to go through my mind was "I'm going to die,"
But I knew that I couldn't give up, I had to try.
Pictures fell from where they hung on the wall,
File cabinets rocking back and forth, looking like they'd fall,
Screams from workers filled my ears,
My eyes began to swell with tears.
Three minutes went by, that felt like a lifetime,
The shaking subsided, metal framework starting to whine,
Groaning with the shifted weight on foundation,
I wasn't sure what had become of our nation.
Papers and debris littered the floor,
I had trouble just opening my door,
A Wolf At the Door Chapter OneShe sat in her car, staring out the windshield. Empty; that was all she felt, a deep emptiness that nothing could replace. A tear ran down her cheek as she recalled the words that the detective told her. It's been a month and there's been no tips to help find your son. We have to assume the worst. Her hands gripped the steering wheel, making her knuckles numb.
The moonlight shone down, illuminating the cliff that was in front of her. Darkness lapped at the edge of the cliff, beckoning her, welcoming her into its arms. Her heart ached. It ached for the son that was missing, the son that was her life. In her mind there was nothing left to live for.
Releasing her grip from the steering wheel, she opened the door and stepped out. The warm night breeze stirred, making her skirt gently sway back and forth. The smell of the salt air was sour, yet sweet t
Winter is a time of sleep,
Animals gathering their food in a heap,
Snow on the ground and wind blowing softly,
The long road ahead begins very quietly,
Everything outside is silent,
Only the sound of the owls hoot quiet,
Animals hibernate in their dens,
Resting up to prepare for what Spring will send,
The snow thaws and new life begins to emerge,
The trees and the plant life begin to surge,
The cries of hatchlings in the trees,
The sounds of Spring are soon set free,
Flowers bloom and new leaves begin to form,
Around the new fragrances bees begin to swarm,
Gliding across from flower to flower,
Summer is in the distance creeping up slower,
The sun's heat blares across the sky,
The parched lands sizzle and cry,
Rain is what's needed to quiet these aches,
To close up these cracks and heal the breaks,
Rain falls like a monsoon,
Summer will part here soon,
Cooler weather, taking its place,
We start to see the beginnings of Fall's face,
Leaves change from green to orange t
Heart SongI know your heart is full of sadness,
You think 'how can she put me through this madness,'
Words cannot express what I feel
Only time can start to heal.
Everyday I think back to the 'why,'
And it hurts my heart and makes me cry,
How could I do such a terrible thing,
To the one man who made my heart sing.
Lapse in judgment is no excuse for the things I did,
Of all the hurt I caused by what I hid,
I hope that you can forgive me in time,
For this deed, this terrible crime.
I love you with all my heart,
Nothing will ever tear us apart,
You are my life, my soul, my everything,
Now its my turn to try to make your heart sing.
I'm With You Chapter 1I sat on the side of the road, watching as the taillights faded into the dark. A feeling of confusion swept over me as I sat there wondering why I was left here.
Its okay, I thought to myself, Theyll be back for me.
One hour went by. Then two. Then three. I began to wonder if they were going to come back at all. I began to pace around, slowly starting to panic. What if they werent coming. What if they left me here to fend for myself.
I sighed and stopped pacing. Looking up both ways of the road I decided to head in the directions that I saw them leave in. The gravel on the side of the road hurt my feet as I walked. Weeds brushed my ankles, making them itch. The wind slowly began to pick up, causing me to shiver.
A bridge came into view and I stopped short of it. I felt so alo
Unrequited LoveA man torn by his immortal fate,
Would he ever find his love, his life, his mate,
Going through each day, longing for someone,
Longing for this binding spell to be undone,
A woman sitting on a swing,
From her back spring angels wings,
The wind blows through her hair,
Her skin so pale and so fair,
He sees her through the trees,
Breathless he falls to his knees,
Such breathtaking features,
He didnt know of any such creatures,
She looks up and stares at the wood,
Feeling eyes watching as hard as they could,
Whos there, she asks softly,
But no response, just crickets chirping quietly,
He heard her voice call out,
He wondered what it was about,
Should he go to her and reveal his true nature,
But would she be repulsed at his features,
She jumps off her swing and begins to walk,
Hoping the person would come out and talk,
She gets closer to where hes at,
Walking stealthy like a cat,
He stands still, unable to stir,
Wondering what hed say to her,
He peaks his
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
Happy BirthdayThinking about things, you come to mind,
I think of who you were and what you've done,
You were a strong man, who loved his family,
You were a provider for those you cherished,
You were a soldier, you defended my rights,
You made your family proud those years,
You still make me proud,
I may have only met you when I was nine,
But it felt like I had known you a lifetime,
You held me in your arms when I would stumble,
You would tell me how much you loved me,
Looking into your eyes all I had was such comfort,
Memories are all we have now,
Memories that make us laugh,
Memories that make us cry,
Memories that make our hearts fill with love,
Memories that make us proud,
I can say I miss the calls I would get,
We shared our birthday together,
I looked forward to that call with anxious waiting,
But now, after 14 years, I still sometimes wait for that call,
It never comes, but no matter, I still sit and wait,
I love you Papa, with all my heart,
The loss of you is still as fresh as the day you le
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More