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Nightmare 1I've been told, that writing down thoughts helps out tremendously, that it helps to take the weights off your shoulders. I agree with that, but even though I agree with it, its a scary feeling to have to revisit your deepest thoughts, fears, as well as nightmares. So I'm going to share a re-occuring nightmare that I have.
When this dream occurs, I'm sitting in a dark room, slowly forming into a familiar place, my bedroom in my parents house. I'm lying in my bed, the stand fan humming away, nothing making a sound. There is a jingle of a bell, my cockateal, David, ruffles his feathers. The bell jiggles away and David hisses, like he does when he's angry. I stare at his cage in the darkness, not seeing anything but the inky blackness of the dark room. Silence falls, David quiets down, bell stops jingling. I move my head again so that I'm staring up towards the ceiling and all I hear a
Welcome HomeGrowing up, you were in my life,
Leading me, guiding me, shaping me,
Showing me the path that was right,
Filling my heart with the love that you share,
As I grew, you watched over me,
I drifted away, but you remained the same,
I didn't want any part of you,
Afraid, self-conscience, unwilling,
Years passed and I grew accustomed to the void,
Left in my heart was a growing emptyness,
Filling with things that were terrible,
Knowing that it was wrong,
I drove to your home, nervousness weighing heavy,
I almost turned the car around and left,
Afraid to face what I left behind,
Worried what I might encounter,
The music started and I somehow knew the words,
A warmth filled my heart,
A peace came over me,
The words aimed at me,
As I sat there silently, I asked you to forgive me,
I asked you to come back,
I asked you to love me again,
I said that I have missed you,
Tears fell down my cheeks,
A smile crossed my face,
Soothing words in my heart,
"Welcome home, I've missed you."
Rising SunToday started off as any other day,
Wake up in the morning and pray,
Eat breakfast and get ready for the norm,
Little did I know of the impending storm.
I make my way to the subway,
Pushing past people, to get on my way,
The usual commotion on the train,
The hum of people talking, sounding like endless rain.
Arriving at my office, I sip my strawberry shake,
The busy of the day beginning, then the earth started to quake.
The first thought to go through my mind was "I'm going to die,"
But I knew that I couldn't give up, I had to try.
Pictures fell from where they hung on the wall,
File cabinets rocking back and forth, looking like they'd fall,
Screams from workers filled my ears,
My eyes began to swell with tears.
Three minutes went by, that felt like a lifetime,
The shaking subsided, metal framework starting to whine,
Groaning with the shifted weight on foundation,
I wasn't sure what had become of our nation.
Papers and debris littered the floor,
I had trouble just opening my door,
A Wolf At the Door Chapter OneShe sat in her car, staring out the windshield. Empty; that was all she felt, a deep emptiness that nothing could replace. A tear ran down her cheek as she recalled the words that the detective told her. It's been a month and there's been no tips to help find your son. We have to assume the worst. Her hands gripped the steering wheel, making her knuckles numb.
The moonlight shone down, illuminating the cliff that was in front of her. Darkness lapped at the edge of the cliff, beckoning her, welcoming her into its arms. Her heart ached. It ached for the son that was missing, the son that was her life. In her mind there was nothing left to live for.
Releasing her grip from the steering wheel, she opened the door and stepped out. The warm night breeze stirred, making her skirt gently sway back and forth. The smell of the salt air was sour, yet sweet t
Winter is a time of sleep,
Animals gathering their food in a heap,
Snow on the ground and wind blowing softly,
The long road ahead begins very quietly,
Everything outside is silent,
Only the sound of the owls hoot quiet,
Animals hibernate in their dens,
Resting up to prepare for what Spring will send,
The snow thaws and new life begins to emerge,
The trees and the plant life begin to surge,
The cries of hatchlings in the trees,
The sounds of Spring are soon set free,
Flowers bloom and new leaves begin to form,
Around the new fragrances bees begin to swarm,
Gliding across from flower to flower,
Summer is in the distance creeping up slower,
The sun's heat blares across the sky,
The parched lands sizzle and cry,
Rain is what's needed to quiet these aches,
To close up these cracks and heal the breaks,
Rain falls like a monsoon,
Summer will part here soon,
Cooler weather, taking its place,
We start to see the beginnings of Fall's face,
Leaves change from green to orange t
Heart SongI know your heart is full of sadness,
You think 'how can she put me through this madness,'
Words cannot express what I feel
Only time can start to heal.
Everyday I think back to the 'why,'
And it hurts my heart and makes me cry,
How could I do such a terrible thing,
To the one man who made my heart sing.
Lapse in judgment is no excuse for the things I did,
Of all the hurt I caused by what I hid,
I hope that you can forgive me in time,
For this deed, this terrible crime.
I love you with all my heart,
Nothing will ever tear us apart,
You are my life, my soul, my everything,
Now its my turn to try to make your heart sing.
I'm With You Chapter 1I sat on the side of the road, watching as the taillights faded into the dark. A feeling of confusion swept over me as I sat there wondering why I was left here.
Its okay, I thought to myself, Theyll be back for me.
One hour went by. Then two. Then three. I began to wonder if they were going to come back at all. I began to pace around, slowly starting to panic. What if they werent coming. What if they left me here to fend for myself.
I sighed and stopped pacing. Looking up both ways of the road I decided to head in the directions that I saw them leave in. The gravel on the side of the road hurt my feet as I walked. Weeds brushed my ankles, making them itch. The wind slowly began to pick up, causing me to shiver.
A bridge came into view and I stopped short of it. I felt so alo
Unrequited LoveA man torn by his immortal fate,
Would he ever find his love, his life, his mate,
Going through each day, longing for someone,
Longing for this binding spell to be undone,
A woman sitting on a swing,
From her back spring angels wings,
The wind blows through her hair,
Her skin so pale and so fair,
He sees her through the trees,
Breathless he falls to his knees,
Such breathtaking features,
He didnt know of any such creatures,
She looks up and stares at the wood,
Feeling eyes watching as hard as they could,
Whos there, she asks softly,
But no response, just crickets chirping quietly,
He heard her voice call out,
He wondered what it was about,
Should he go to her and reveal his true nature,
But would she be repulsed at his features,
She jumps off her swing and begins to walk,
Hoping the person would come out and talk,
She gets closer to where hes at,
Walking stealthy like a cat,
He stands still, unable to stir,
Wondering what hed say to her,
He peaks his
When you lose a best friendWhen we said friends forever and
crossed pinkies like grade-schoolers,
I could only believe those words
lodged in your heart
like they did mine
because every time I think back
I can't help but remember the
under star lit constellations,
and study sessions where we
learned more about each other
than we did Biology
but now it's clear
that each beat of your heart
has made those words fade,
and you could care less
about crossed pinkies
but I'll still see you,
and hear your voice
and I'll still wish
the meaning hadn't changed-
Forgiveness takes twoThe words are struggling
to tumble off my tongue,
and despite having
a fleshy cushion
to rest on,
they stain my teeth
and sting like acid
"I'm sorry," I stutter,
but the bitter taste
doesn't leave my tongue-
not because the words weren't true,
but because I know
I won't hear,
She's an artistShe's an artist.
Always seems to be daydreaming,
She draws to escape her pain.
Cause for a single moment,
When her work is done.
It seems like there is no more rain.
And she could finally touch the sun.
The one that shines so brightly in her paintings.
But then it's gone,
So she keeps drawing,
She's become good at escaping.
Running from reality.
Because dreams are the only things she wants,
Her imagination is the only thing she's ever known.
And it's sad really...
Because she tries so hard to be happy.
But the most beautiful thing she could ever create.
Was that smile upon her face,
And that is the one thing that remains blank.
Waiting to someday be something more than,
Mommy Is A Super HeroMommy Is A Super Hero
Standing before his class, he held his tiny report,
“Who is your super hero?” Was written in yellow chalk on the green board.
Exhaling his breath, the curly haired boy closed his little eyes,
“Don't be ashamed of yourself” His mother's words rung in his ears, “And don't ever cry.”
He began to read aloud, with a shaky voice.
to his class, he told his mother's story.
At age fifteen, she was a beauty queen,
the most beautiful girl in all of the world.
She flaunted her silky hair, bore her bare legs,
prided her breast. The boys treated her like she was a treasure chest.
They respected her rules, they “looked, but didn't touch”,
but there was one older man, who from her, wanted too much.
All alone he met her, he approached her in the alley,
and all his mother told him, was that this man had treated her badly.
But what the boy didn't know was that she was taken against her will,
and that two months later, she turned up ext
At peace within this tranquil garden,
I picture the moments where I've made you smile.
Those times are endlessly precious to me,
I think they're worth the while.
They're worth the time I've spent with you,
Even if it wasn't long.
I only wish I'd spent a little more,
Before our love was gone.
Still HereSuicide is a
Thought that frequently lurks
In my mind, wich
Lets it overcome the
Laughter and happiness
Here I still fight, however
Enduring this sad life
Reviving my hopes
Embracing the gift of life
cenotaph of stormsthe first thunderstorm
was triggered by a blunt pair
of scissors, sparking violently
against the lightning,
shaking in the wind.
the downpour pierced,
tattooed with no ink but
the dark bleakness
of an overcast morning,
infiltrating uniformed wrists.
hid behind the music block,
shaky raindrops rioting
fears, she fractured.
the second storm
wept a two year downpour
outline that dripped from wrist
to hip, sidelong silhouette glances
obscured by the rain.
stalictidal waves shuddered
frozen, until icy glass
fell in stained shards from
the stillness inside.
thinner, brittler, growing
in flurries of sleet and hail,
her outline was never filled,
though the floods threatened
the third thunderstorm
was a mist-ridden melancholia,
a dream for permanence
smeared in ink through
fueled by the hope
that just this once,
the rain would spark a
rebirth beneath the ground.
instead, a tsunami
washed away the ink
as tides so often do.
Ideationlocked in a room
with only one escape,
or so it seems.
your hands shake and you drop the key.
Suddenly you're unsure.
Do I want to pick it up?
Do I want to find it?
Do I want to leave?
you think to yourself
there's no other choice.
find the key or corrode, or rust
wear down the hinge
use sadness as the key.
You have the answer now.
Just open the door.
Just walk outside and don't look back.
Let yourself leave with no regrets.
And yet you can't.
You're afraid, you think,
but you are actually strong.
Don't run away.
Don't take that leap.
my bedspread is white and so is my coffin.i can feel
the night closing
the stars are breaking
empty glass bottles
inside of my
mouth, and they taste like
ambien. bitter, then
but you still can't close your fucking eyes
little blue pills for
eyes– it was winter and i
dreams of nothing more than
nothing. the devil
tied chains around all the
vessels in my
body. laughed, and by god i
laughed too (and laughedandlaughedandlaughed).
this will all be over soon i swear i will take everything off your skin and bones and burn it up
and then january took the world
in it's grip and i
drowned in the snow that
will never hydrate the
can you hear that it's the night and it's so beautiful so come here darling and we'll watch the sun rise and set and rise and
Happy BirthdayThinking about things, you come to mind,
I think of who you were and what you've done,
You were a strong man, who loved his family,
You were a provider for those you cherished,
You were a soldier, you defended my rights,
You made your family proud those years,
You still make me proud,
I may have only met you when I was nine,
But it felt like I had known you a lifetime,
You held me in your arms when I would stumble,
You would tell me how much you loved me,
Looking into your eyes all I had was such comfort,
Memories are all we have now,
Memories that make us laugh,
Memories that make us cry,
Memories that make our hearts fill with love,
Memories that make us proud,
I can say I miss the calls I would get,
We shared our birthday together,
I looked forward to that call with anxious waiting,
But now, after 14 years, I still sometimes wait for that call,
It never comes, but no matter, I still sit and wait,
I love you Papa, with all my heart,
The loss of you is still as fresh as the day you le
five hour energyi suppose
last week was only an aftershock
of the earthquake you were before.
this place used to vibrate
with metal strings and melodic,
testimonies to life,
emitting coffee-scented moods
and the burn of it too.
i had memorized the
sounds of silence,
i couldn't help but relish it.
no longer had i known
the sounds of folk
and scent of mocha-
you became nothing more
than an echo of the laughter
i so desperately needed to hear again.
then the echoes got louder,
bouncing ferociously off the walls
to be made manifest
i walked into your room
expecting exactly what i found-
an unmade bed,
and an empty beer
(the one that you insisted you needed
just days ago).
i pressed my nose
into the pillow
for incense and cologne and starbucks
to penetrate my mind
and thinking fervently
i already know
what a clean sheet smells like."
how strong an aftershock can be,
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More