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Nightmare 1I've been told, that writing down thoughts helps out tremendously, that it helps to take the weights off your shoulders. I agree with that, but even though I agree with it, its a scary feeling to have to revisit your deepest thoughts, fears, as well as nightmares. So I'm going to share a re-occuring nightmare that I have.
When this dream occurs, I'm sitting in a dark room, slowly forming into a familiar place, my bedroom in my parents house. I'm lying in my bed, the stand fan humming away, nothing making a sound. There is a jingle of a bell, my cockateal, David, ruffles his feathers. The bell jiggles away and David hisses, like he does when he's angry. I stare at his cage in the darkness, not seeing anything but the inky blackness of the dark room. Silence falls, David quiets down, bell stops jingling. I move my head again so that I'm staring up towards the ceiling and all I hear a
Welcome HomeGrowing up, you were in my life,
Leading me, guiding me, shaping me,
Showing me the path that was right,
Filling my heart with the love that you share,
As I grew, you watched over me,
I drifted away, but you remained the same,
I didn't want any part of you,
Afraid, self-conscience, unwilling,
Years passed and I grew accustomed to the void,
Left in my heart was a growing emptyness,
Filling with things that were terrible,
Knowing that it was wrong,
I drove to your home, nervousness weighing heavy,
I almost turned the car around and left,
Afraid to face what I left behind,
Worried what I might encounter,
The music started and I somehow knew the words,
A warmth filled my heart,
A peace came over me,
The words aimed at me,
As I sat there silently, I asked you to forgive me,
I asked you to come back,
I asked you to love me again,
I said that I have missed you,
Tears fell down my cheeks,
A smile crossed my face,
Soothing words in my heart,
"Welcome home, I've missed you."
Rising SunToday started off as any other day,
Wake up in the morning and pray,
Eat breakfast and get ready for the norm,
Little did I know of the impending storm.
I make my way to the subway,
Pushing past people, to get on my way,
The usual commotion on the train,
The hum of people talking, sounding like endless rain.
Arriving at my office, I sip my strawberry shake,
The busy of the day beginning, then the earth started to quake.
The first thought to go through my mind was "I'm going to die,"
But I knew that I couldn't give up, I had to try.
Pictures fell from where they hung on the wall,
File cabinets rocking back and forth, looking like they'd fall,
Screams from workers filled my ears,
My eyes began to swell with tears.
Three minutes went by, that felt like a lifetime,
The shaking subsided, metal framework starting to whine,
Groaning with the shifted weight on foundation,
I wasn't sure what had become of our nation.
Papers and debris littered the floor,
I had trouble just opening my door,
A Wolf At the Door Chapter OneShe sat in her car, staring out the windshield. Empty; that was all she felt, a deep emptiness that nothing could replace. A tear ran down her cheek as she recalled the words that the detective told her. It's been a month and there's been no tips to help find your son. We have to assume the worst. Her hands gripped the steering wheel, making her knuckles numb.
The moonlight shone down, illuminating the cliff that was in front of her. Darkness lapped at the edge of the cliff, beckoning her, welcoming her into its arms. Her heart ached. It ached for the son that was missing, the son that was her life. In her mind there was nothing left to live for.
Releasing her grip from the steering wheel, she opened the door and stepped out. The warm night breeze stirred, making her skirt gently sway back and forth. The smell of the salt air was sour, yet sweet t
Winter is a time of sleep,
Animals gathering their food in a heap,
Snow on the ground and wind blowing softly,
The long road ahead begins very quietly,
Everything outside is silent,
Only the sound of the owls hoot quiet,
Animals hibernate in their dens,
Resting up to prepare for what Spring will send,
The snow thaws and new life begins to emerge,
The trees and the plant life begin to surge,
The cries of hatchlings in the trees,
The sounds of Spring are soon set free,
Flowers bloom and new leaves begin to form,
Around the new fragrances bees begin to swarm,
Gliding across from flower to flower,
Summer is in the distance creeping up slower,
The sun's heat blares across the sky,
The parched lands sizzle and cry,
Rain is what's needed to quiet these aches,
To close up these cracks and heal the breaks,
Rain falls like a monsoon,
Summer will part here soon,
Cooler weather, taking its place,
We start to see the beginnings of Fall's face,
Leaves change from green to orange t
Heart SongI know your heart is full of sadness,
You think 'how can she put me through this madness,'
Words cannot express what I feel
Only time can start to heal.
Everyday I think back to the 'why,'
And it hurts my heart and makes me cry,
How could I do such a terrible thing,
To the one man who made my heart sing.
Lapse in judgment is no excuse for the things I did,
Of all the hurt I caused by what I hid,
I hope that you can forgive me in time,
For this deed, this terrible crime.
I love you with all my heart,
Nothing will ever tear us apart,
You are my life, my soul, my everything,
Now its my turn to try to make your heart sing.
I'm With You Chapter 1I sat on the side of the road, watching as the taillights faded into the dark. A feeling of confusion swept over me as I sat there wondering why I was left here.
Its okay, I thought to myself, Theyll be back for me.
One hour went by. Then two. Then three. I began to wonder if they were going to come back at all. I began to pace around, slowly starting to panic. What if they werent coming. What if they left me here to fend for myself.
I sighed and stopped pacing. Looking up both ways of the road I decided to head in the directions that I saw them leave in. The gravel on the side of the road hurt my feet as I walked. Weeds brushed my ankles, making them itch. The wind slowly began to pick up, causing me to shiver.
A bridge came into view and I stopped short of it. I felt so alo
Unrequited LoveA man torn by his immortal fate,
Would he ever find his love, his life, his mate,
Going through each day, longing for someone,
Longing for this binding spell to be undone,
A woman sitting on a swing,
From her back spring angels wings,
The wind blows through her hair,
Her skin so pale and so fair,
He sees her through the trees,
Breathless he falls to his knees,
Such breathtaking features,
He didnt know of any such creatures,
She looks up and stares at the wood,
Feeling eyes watching as hard as they could,
Whos there, she asks softly,
But no response, just crickets chirping quietly,
He heard her voice call out,
He wondered what it was about,
Should he go to her and reveal his true nature,
But would she be repulsed at his features,
She jumps off her swing and begins to walk,
Hoping the person would come out and talk,
She gets closer to where hes at,
Walking stealthy like a cat,
He stands still, unable to stir,
Wondering what hed say to her,
He peaks his
It's Okay to be ImperfectThe moon
Stand Against SuicideI know the pain is perhaps unbearable,
But darling, please put down the blade.
Release your emotions through tears and smiles,
Rather than dreading these days.
Do it for the little girl, whose mother can’t be there,
Or for the boy whose father drank too much.
For the boy who can’t sit in elementary school,
Because the bruises from Daddy hurt to touch.
For the teenage girl lying face down in her bed,
Thinking, why can’t it all be done?
For the elderly man looking up at the stars,
Counting the days one by one.
Do it for the children who wonder, does it end?
For the ones who feel left on their own.
For the ones who think, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard
If I didn’t feel so left alone.
And finally, do it for one other person,
The person in front of these words.
Because you’ll never know how it gets better
When focusing on pain and hurt.
Live one more day, dear, for them and for you,
And I swear to you, problems will fade.
I know, for right now, it’s p
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
I Thought I Needed FeminismI thought I needed feminism, when I was a little girl.
And I am very sad to admit, that this wasn't very long ago.
I thought when he held the door open for me, that he was making a big mistake.
That he was being a pompous ass, and he took my strength for a fake.
And when he offered to pay my tab, I still called him an ass.
Because I thought he assumed I was poor, and below middle class.
Or when his hard work earned him a promotion,
yet I did nothing, and the boss' ignorance to promote me, I believed was a sexist notion.
My friend really wanted feminism when she found her ex-dead drunk,
removed his clothes, and without his consent, had a pleasurable fuck.
When her parents bust into the room unexpected that night,
she said he raped her, and he was arrested without so much as a fight.
Perhaps feminism was there when I walked out into the street in pure nudity,
and shouted the my neighbors “You have no right to judge me!”
I didn't care about the children who were standing in th
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
the certainty of imminencei.
tomorrow spills over
inevitability-rapt and enveloping,
as wakefulness startles,
i'm caught up in past-time
i forge(t) myself in oblivion
midnight so hollow,
we all stop
with the clocks.
nothing looks the way it did
and i guess it seems
i'm blinkered, brevity-bound
in century footsteps forever stumbling,
always being blindsided
by the passing
Abuse Is Sometimes NecessaryPush and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.
Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.
And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.
When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.
When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.
Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.
And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”
And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you'v
Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)
I hope the title caught your eye,
because this is about you.
Many of us speak in superlatives
and ambiguous language.
In imagery-laden text masquerading
underneath double entendres
keeping us from a part of the truth.
But purple streaks and red bands,
harp strings and soft hands
don't begin to explain
the love I have for you.
So I lay these words down
simple in its vulnerability,
blemished and raw in its purity.
The term lissome fits you in many ways,
but not necessarily it its textbook form.
I speak on the part that is not readily seen
but what is easily most cogent.
Your consciousness' cognizance
is graceful in the way
you fold one syllable over
another, supple in its meaning
that can take many forms
going from idle lies
to how we idolize hollow eyes
and uncovered hip bones.
Elegance is an understatement,
but I refuse to speak in cliche superlatives.
I speak honestly
but not with exaggerated grandeur.
Because your immediate app
Happy BirthdayThinking about things, you come to mind,
I think of who you were and what you've done,
You were a strong man, who loved his family,
You were a provider for those you cherished,
You were a soldier, you defended my rights,
You made your family proud those years,
You still make me proud,
I may have only met you when I was nine,
But it felt like I had known you a lifetime,
You held me in your arms when I would stumble,
You would tell me how much you loved me,
Looking into your eyes all I had was such comfort,
Memories are all we have now,
Memories that make us laugh,
Memories that make us cry,
Memories that make our hearts fill with love,
Memories that make us proud,
I can say I miss the calls I would get,
We shared our birthday together,
I looked forward to that call with anxious waiting,
But now, after 14 years, I still sometimes wait for that call,
It never comes, but no matter, I still sit and wait,
I love you Papa, with all my heart,
The loss of you is still as fresh as the day you le
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